


The Alliance: Tom's Story

by Anifan1



Series: Alliance [2]
Category: Animorphs - Katherine A. Applegate
Genre: Gen, Infestation, Voluntary Controllers, Yeerks, yeerk peace movement
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-30
Updated: 2018-11-28
Packaged: 2019-04-29 23:16:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 22,088
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14483370
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Anifan1/pseuds/Anifan1
Summary: Companion piece/second part of "The Alliance" series.  Tom receives a new chance at freedom.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: I don't own Animorphs-they're the property of KAA and Scholastic. Please don't me, as I am a poor librarian who can barely afford health insurance and to support my cat in the manner in which she's accustomed.
> 
> A/N #2: If you haven't read "The Alliance" first, it may help to do so. This is the same general story, but from Tom's point of view.
> 
> Finally, a huge "Thank you" to YPM-33-KI for beta reading!

There are few scenarios in which waking up tied to a chair in the middle of a shack can be construed as a good thing.

My first reaction, when Gariss Four-Two-One woke up to that exact situation, was a small feeling of smugness that he was nearly as powerless as I had been since my initial infestation with Temrash Two-Five-Two.

That had been over two years ago.

Temrash was gone now. He was supposed to receive this big promotion, infest the governor. From the time he found out to the day he left my head, he barely stopped gloating about it. When I first heard about his promotion, I felt a sense of hope, because I'd thought that I'd be freed.

My Yeerk had been quick, eager even, to crush that hope.

(You'll just go to a low level Yeerk,) he'd told me.

At the time, I'd been too beaten, too broken down, to retort that this only made him a notch above a low level Yeerk. After all, it had taken him nearly nine months of living inside my head before he'd received this promotion.

After learning that I would just be passed on to another Yeerk, I thought that maybe, this new Yeerk wouldn't be so eager to get Jake to join The Sharing. During the last few weeks, Temrash hadn't let up on it, and finally Jake had snapped and said that he didn't want to be a part of something, he'd wanted to be himself.

Almost like he knew, not about the Yeerks, but that it was basically a cult.

Anyway, Temrash had gone to his promotion, and I later discovered that he'd been killed waiting for the governor. The Andalite bandits had attacked the hospital and destroyed the pool full of Yeerks before any of the Controllers could stop them.

Temrash had died waiting for his big assignment, probably not even knowing what had happened.

A couple days later, a mysterious voice called our home, telling me not to give up.

The two events kept me from giving up completely for at least a few months.

Two years after my initial infestation, hope wasn't easy to come by. Sure, the Andalite bandits continued their attacks on the Yeerk empire, but for those of us still enslaved to them, it felt like a distant hope. Maybe more Andalites would come and kill the Yeerks. Probably not.

The latest attack, which had only occurred a few days ago, had been on the Yeerk Pool. But it wasn't their usual attack. For one thing, it seemed like there had only been one bandit. For another, the key purpose of the attack, from what I'd heard in the cages, was to rescue a single Yeerk.

Aftran Nine-Four-Two. Called a traitor by Visser Three, because apparently she had let her human host go. Apparently, she was a key part in this movement of Yeerks who wanted to abolish forced infestation. Only take the ones who agreed to have a Yeerk in them, and let everyone else go free. Maybe even abolish the empire.

I'd never known Andalites and Yeerks to work together, but maybe the bandits thought that an end to forced infestation was a good beginning to an end to all infestation. Or, maybe they were willing to compromise. I didn't know what they were thinking when they saved her.

Anyway, they got her out. And just her. Visser Three was seriously ticked off, and more than a few of his guards were fed to the Taxxons. No humans, because it would look too suspicious. But I imagined that a couple lost an arm or two.

No wonder the Peace Movement wanted to abolish the empire.

Anyway.

I woke up, imprisoned in my mind as usual, but Gariss woke up, literally imprisoned.

He searched through my memories to figure out what was going on...and then he saw my kid brother.

Midget.

I could have cried. Early in my infestation, I'd fantasied about my parents freeing me. Holding me captive, because they knew something was off. Waking up to find them say that they knew all about the Yeerks, and they wouldn't rest until I was freed.

Temrash had mocked me. And when enough days passed and this fantasy never became more than just that, I pushed it away from my thoughts. As much as I hated Temrash, he had been right about one thing.

No one knew that I was a prisoner in my mind, and no one was going to try to save me.

Except, looking into the eyes of my kid brother and his friend, I realized that they were doing just that.

Finally.

I did the math. Gariss had fed on Wednesday evening. The longest he could possibly last was Saturday night. But the hunger would begin on Saturday. If not in the morning, definitely by the middle of the day. He didn't like to go longer than sixty hours without feeding. No more than sixty-five, tops. My Yeerks had never explained it to me, exactly, but I knew that seventy-two hours was the absolute maximum time a Yeerk could go without Kandrona rays. As in, they would die by the end of the seventy-second hour.

Gariss would be feeling hunger before too long, and facing starvation not long after that.

I didn't gloat. I didn't even hope. Well, not much. When you've been a slave inside your body for over two years, even when you think you can smell freedom, it doesn't take long to figure out that even that seeming certainty could just be a mirage.

Even with Jake and Marco telling Gariss to shut up, that they knew all about Yeerks, I felt that there was so much that could go wrong.

Except, it didn't. Oh, Gariss made a big stink, screaming for help, giving me a sore throat, but eventually, he stopped that.

Maybe he would have tried harder had they not said something about there being another option beyond starving.

He didn't ask what it was until hunger had really started to set in. Even when he learned about the android and the Yeerk inside of him who was living on his generated Kandrona rays, he didn't agree right away. But he did about a half hour later.

He was too weak to think of a better plan, and even if it was a trick, there was the chance that he wouldn't starve.

Yeerks tended to give up when they felt like the odds were against them.

Maybe it was some kind of evolution that humans missed out on. They wouldn't fight when it was hopeless. They figured others would continue it, and it was better to preserve their own lives.

Even as Gariss left my head, I still couldn't believe what was happening. It felt so unreal, and suddenly, I was sobbing. Yeah, Tom Berenson, former high school basketball star and generally popular guy. Crying like a baby.

Well, anyone who had been infested with two awful Yeerks for over two years would know how I felt. And those who didn't-could shut up.

My eyes fixed on the Yeerk. I heard Jake ask if I wanted to kill it. I couldn't answer. So, the Yeerk was allowed to climb into the android, where he'd be permanently trapped in wiring, but able to live on the android's generated Kandrona rays.

And me. I was free. Actually, truly free. Not just without a Yeerk for a couple of hours and dragged off to a cage while the slug fed. No, this slug wasn't coming back.

Jake and Marco had saved me.

They untied me, and I was able to stand up. I suddenly grabbed Jake and pulled him into a huge hug. I worried dimly if I was choking him, hugging him so hard, but he just squeezed back, at least as hard.

"Thank you!" I managed to get out. My voice wasn't working well. Was it because of Gariss spending so much time screaming, or because, like the rest of my body, it didn't feel like it belonged to me? "Oh God...thank you!"

A small part of me was telling me to be strong, to stop crying, to man up.

I told that part of me to go to hell.

I wanted to stay close to Midget, stay hugging him for dear life, for at least another hour. But I finally let go, partly because I could tell others were watching, and partly because I realized that I was weak from not having eaten for nearly twenty-four hours.

Midget was crying, too.

"Jake? Can we go home?" I asked him.

I was too surprised that I could talk on my own, without being in one of the cages, to give much notice to the fact that my voice sounded so young.

I guessed that being a slave to a Yeerk for two years changes you, ages you. Even if your body doesn't notice the difference.

I noted that Jake looked exhausted. He tried to smile at me.

"Let's sit down, Tom," he said, putting an arm on my shoulder. Acting like the older brother, even though that had always been my job. "We need to talk about what happens next."

I felt panic sink in as he said this. It wasn't over, yet. And maybe-as much as I hated to think it-Jake wasn't even on my side.

I considered trying to bolt, but my legs wouldn't move.


	2. Chapter 2

Before I could go into full blown panic mode, one of the girls-I vaguely remembered Jake spending time around a "Cassie", so maybe that was her-spoke up. "Wait. Before you start." She looked at Jake, then at me. "Shouldn't we get him something to eat?"

I managed a weak smile. Food sounded great. And if they were going to feed me...well, it couldn't be completely bad news, right?

Jake managed one as well. "Right. I guess you're probably hungry, Tom?"

I just nodded. "Starving," I whispered.

Cassie spoke up again. "Why don't you all head to my barn? I can grab some food from the fridge, and then we can talk."

That sounded a little ominous, but maybe it was another sign that I had been infested for far too long.

Of course, even an hour is too long.

"Good idea." Jake turned to me. "Tom? Any preferences?"

I managed to shake my head. I'd never been a picky eater, but after twenty-four hours without food, I'd have eaten almost anything. "Whatever you got," I said, which got Jake to smile at me, which almost made me smile.

Almost.

Cassie led the way. It wasn't too far, but I hadn't walked long distances on my own since before I was infested, and I knew that Gariss hadn't slept well the night before. My body cramped from having spent the last several hours being tied to a chair. Not that I minded-it was a small price to pay to contain Gariss, and get him out of my head. Still. All things combined, every step seemed to take as much energy as ten would have. Worse yet, I could tell that Jake and the others were slowing down their pace for my benefit. I really didn't want to slow them down any more than I had to. Not with the promise of a good meal, and besides, I was sure that the danger wasn't over. It would only be a matter of time before the other Yeerks began to search for me after Gariss skipped his feeding.

Granted, he'd gone, if not this long, as least nearly as long, before. Being a Yeerk to a minor meant following parental rules and curfews. He'd complained about it, as though I could do anything, or even sympathize with him.

Still, our hours had to be limited, because no Yeerk could survive more than three days without Kandrona rays, and even if I had been voluntary, a former host always presented a danger to the invasion.

The barn was mostly empty, except for the assortment of animals, and I remembered that it must have been Cassie whose parents were vets. I vaguely recalled that one of Jake's classmates parents did that for a living.

We sat down around one of the tables, and Cassie left to get food. I could feel Jake and the others looking at me, watching me. I just stared back, trying to comprehend how everything had changed. I couldn't seem to speak more than a few words at a time. Maybe it was the hunger, the screaming that Gariss had done earlier, or maybe it was simply the after effects of being a host for so long. Whatever it was, they didn't push. Jake, who had been standing next to me the whole time, reached out and put an arm around my back. I managed a smile, letting him know that I appreciated the support.

Cassie returned with a bunch of bags and containers. The others went to help her, except me and Jake. Me because I still felt like I was about to collapse from hunger and exhaustion, and Jake, probably, because he wanted to be there for me.

We sat down on the floor and ate. It was harder for me. I guessed I was out of practice. But I managed to get the food inside my mouth, remember to chew enough times, and swallow. My body still worked after a couple of years, even if I hadn't been the one controlling it during most of that time. My stomach, I hoped, would digest the food as easily as if Gariss had been the one consuming it.

I felt a little better after eating. I noted, now, that no one had really talked. I tried to shrug it off. Could have been that they were really hungry, too. Maybe they didn't talk much with their families around the dinner table. I didn't know. But it made it easier to concentrate on the task of eating, and finally, we were finished.

"Tom?"

Instinctively, I turned to Jake, realizing that I must have been staring off into space or something. "Yeah?" I asked.

Jake put his hand on my shoulder again. "Are you okay?"

I shrugged, and felt myself lowering over the table. Not wanting to look at everyone.

"We can't go home, yet," Jake explained, gently. "Don't worry, our parents won't know. Erek...the android you met...he knows other androids who will act as us. For now. They do a pretty good job."

"Yeah, last time they had to play us, I got the exact same grade on my English paper as I would have if I wrote it," Marco chimed in.

I managed a laugh. "It's all so unreal."

Jake just sighed. "It's about to become even more so."

I glanced up, and Jake relayed the events of the past two years to me.

It was unreal. HE and his friends had been the Andalite bandits. The ones fighting Visser Three. I was still digesting this information when Jake turned to Cassie.

"Why don't you tell him about your encounter with Aftran?" he asked her.

Another bombshell, but I guessed I shouldn't have been surprised that the Andalite Bandits-well, Animorphs-were in touch with the Peace Movement. So, they had just saved Aftran, after all. And now they were going to tell me why.

Cassie began to explain. "After one battle, I announced that I had had enough. I told them that I was quitting. They didn't take it well. There was a little girl whose Yeerk had been the sister of one of the Yeerks I had killed in battle. He had a Hork-Bajir host. She tracked me down in the woods. Long story short-we both saved each others' lives. Her name was Aftran Nine-Four-Two. She made me realize that Yeerks were individuals, and I convinced her to free her host and never take another one."

I nodded. "My old Yeerk hated her. Called her a traitor." I took a minute to recall what I had heard about her. "She organized the Peace Movement after freeing her host?"

"She was in the movement, yes," Cassie corrected me. "Do you...did you hear about her capture?"

I nodded again. "My Yeerk wasn't there when Visser Three wanted to interrogate her, but I heard the stories. The Andalite bandits-you guys-swooped in and saved her. Literally," I added, managing a small smile. "One of you had a bird morph."

Cassie smiled back at me. "That was me. I saved Aftran."

"He was so angry," I remembered, unable to hide a shudder. "I don't think he realized until then that she had been associating with the Andalite Bandits."

"Not regularly, but yeah. By the time that she decided to free Karen-her host-she and I had reached an understanding. And with the information she had, we needed to free her."

"But she died, right? Unless she's the other Yeerk in the android?"

Slowly, Cassie shook her head. "Erek can generate Kandrona rays without a Yeerk being inside him. He visits for a couple of hours while I put Aftran in some water and she feeds." She inhaled, then exhaled. "She's in me, now."

I turned to Jake, my face must have showing my shock. "Midget?"

"Yeah. For the past few days," Jake said, simply.

I couldn't think of anything else to say, and just then, I didn't have to.

"She's really kind. I mean, I've never had another Yeerk in my head, but I don't think she's anything like the ones you've had," Cassie told me, almost reassuringly.

Not knowing what else to say, I just nodded, then managed a "Yeah."

Okay. So, if Cassie wanted to be a host for a Yeerk in the Peace Movement, and my brother was okay with it, I wasn't going to be the one to protest. Not when they'd freed me just hours ago. Besides, Cassie had risked her life to save Aftran, and Visser Three saw Aftran as a traitor, so that alone meant that she couldn't be all bad. The enemy of my enemy is my friend and all of that.

Jake spoke gently, squeezing my hand. "Since your old Yeerk is gone, we need to think about what to do next. The way we see it, there are two options to avoid causing any major problems."

Fear struck me, even though I knew that Jake wouldn't hurt me. Not after saving me.

"Okay," I managed to get out. "What are those?"

I felt his arm around my shoulder. It helped. "The first is living with the Hork-Bajir." I remembered him telling me a little about the secret colony. "We'd have to stage your death, or at least disappearance. Mom and Dad can't know anything about what happened. The Yeerks...they still want a secret invasion, instead of an all out war. And there are too many people on the inside to prevent us from being believed if we went public. It's just too risky."

I could understand that on a practical level, but the idea of losing my family while gaining my freedom felt like an awful trade. Especially knowing that Jake was the leader of the Animorphs. He could die in battle, and I wouldn't find out...maybe ever.

"W-would I see you again?" I asked, and I could feel my voice break.

Jake tightening his arm around my shoulder. "Definitely. I'd check in on you all the time. We'd make sure you had enough food and stuff. And the Hork-Bajir...they're really nice. They'd welcome you."

I gave a slow nod. But I didn't want to live away from everyone. Not without any humans. Even if the Hork-Bajir were decent, it wouldn't feel like home. And my family...it would kill them to think I was dead.

"What's the second choice?"

Jake looked at me. "Aftran. She'd infest you, and play your old Yeerk."

Cassie spoke up suddenly, as though afraid I'd get up and start running. Funny, because I realized that I actually had jumped up from my seat. A little.

"She's nothing like the other Yeerks you had, Tom. She's part of the Peace Movement. She would have died to protect us, as well as the other Yeerks there. They don't believe in involuntary hosts. They-" She broke off for a minute, and then her voice started again. The tone didn't change at all, but I suspected that Aftran was now in control. "Tom, it's Aftran," she said. "Cassie's given me permission to talk to you directly."

I could feel myself shaking now, and Jake had now wrapped his arms completely around me, cocooning me.

It helped.

I nodded at Cassie/Aftran to continue.

"If you let me in your head, I promise that it will be nothing like it was before," she told me. "I'll give you control whenever possible. I won't go through your memory unless it's essential for keeping our cover. Certainly not for...for fun."

I winced at the memories of Temrash and Gariss doing just that. Long after I had given up. Either because they wanted to amuse themselves during a boring meeting, or they wanted to keep me down. Maybe both. Maybe, just to show me they could.

The fact that Aftran promised not to do this meant...well, I wasn't sure what it meant. At least, she was aware of what I-or other hosts-had been through. Still, could I really feel any sense of safety with a Yeerk in my head? Even one that my brother and his friends clearly trusted?

"I'll work to keep you and your family safe. All of you," Afteran concluded, turning to the rest of us. I realized that I had forgotten they were in the room.

"I'm-I'm scared," I whispered, speaking to Jake alone, even though I knew that everyone could hear me. "I want to believe her. I guess she's...she's not that bad if Cassie's letting her in her head?"

Before Jake could say anything, Cassie/Aftran spoke again.

"It's Cassie, now," she said. The tone didn't change in her voice. She stood up and walked the few feet over to me. Took my hand, which felt a little strange at first, but I didn't fight her.

"I had Aftran in my head twice," she told me, speaking in the voice I imagined she used for injured animals. "The first time...it was to let Karen speak on her own. It was reckless of me. The first time, Aftran took control. Went through my memories. She didn't betray us, though, and she returned to Karen. We made the agreement Jake told you about. I nearly trapped myself as a caterpillar in exchange for Karen's freedom."

"What happened the second time?" I asked, and I felt her squeeze my hand.

I felt Cassie brighten, her eyes practically light up. "The second time was after I saved her. I wanted to talk to her, to thank her for everything she had done for me and my friends."

She paused for a minute, and I nodded, wanting her to continue. She did.

"And," Cassie hesitated for a second before adding, "she wanted me to kill her. Spare her the pain of Kandrona starvation." I saw her eyes fill with tears. "That was the only thing she wanted."

"But...you didn't kill her," I said, dumbly.

I could practically hear Gariss or Temrash in my head. In my mind, they were practically the same. (Of course, she didn't, you stupid human! She's speaking through her right now.)

I tried to shut out the voice.

Cassie shook her head. "We had a meeting. Jake thought of her becoming a nothlit, but Erek suggested either giving her Kandrona rays through him and letting her stay in me-which I wanted-or saving you and using Aftran as sort of a...liaison."

I went quiet. Even though I objected, in principle, to any Yeerk in my head, Aftran herself sounded okay. At least, as far as her species went. Cassie certainly liked her enough to risk their lives...and in a way, her own freedom. I couldn't believe they would just pass on the duty of host to me if they didn't think it could work for both of us. After all, becoming a nothlit had been one option...Still, it was too much right now. I wanted to go home, collapse into bed, and sleep. Just sleep.

"Can I have the night to think about it?" I asked Jake.

"Sure," he said, simply.

Erek spoke then. "I'll notify the others that they're no longer needed, if you're going back home?"

I spoke up. "You'll need to have someone play me and my old Yeerk to feed. Before they get more suspicious."

"That's already been taking care of. The person playing you had just left the Yeerk Pool."

I nodded, glad that the one potential disaster had been averted. "Thanks."

Jake paused before responding. "Sure."

Rachel gave me an awkward hug, and Marco gave me a fist bump. Everyone else stood off to the side.

Before leaving, Cassie gave me a quick hug. "Whatever you choose, we'll make it work out."

I managed to smile at her.

Jake kept a close eye on me as we walked home. Walking by myself still felt a little weird, and I could only hope that it was temporary. Granted, if Aftran took up residence in my head, she could either help or hinder the whole "controlling my body on my own" process. Which was another reason to either be suspicious-or want her in my head.

Our parents were watching TV together and barely glanced up when we walked past them to say hi.

"Aw, they're having a date night," Jake whispered, and I laughed on impulse.

I didn't have to think about being me again. For that moment, anyway.

It almost felt like old times.


	3. Chapter 3

We trudged upstairs. I was relieved to see that walking was getting easier for me. Maybe the struggle from earlier had been more from not eating for almost twenty-four hours than my body resisting my commands. I certainly didn't blame Jake or his friends for not feeding Gariss. They--and I--wanted him as weak as possible. We all knew that he would be dead within days due to Kandrona starvation, but the added stress of a hungry host body definitely helped him make a decision faster. Besides, one advantage to being a slave in your head is that you don't really experience the physical sensations. It's not that you're unaware of anything that happens to your body, but the pain doesn't belong to you. At least, not while the Yeerk is in control.

Anyway, walking was one thing, climbing up the stairs felt more complex. Maybe it was because I had walked--okay, been dragged--short distances every few days when Gariss or Temrash went to feed. But climbing stairs? I hadn't done that on my own in over two years. I had to concentrate on each step, even stare down at my feet to make sure they went where I was trying to place them. As long as I did this, though, I didn't stumble. 

We made it up the staircase without any accidents on my end. Walked down the hallway towards our rooms, and once we got to mine, I paused outside of the door.

"Jake?"

"Yeah, Tom?" he asked me, and he looked, for a minute, like he wanted to put an arm around my shoulder or hug me.

I reached out and squeezed his shoulder briefly. "I'd kind of like to talk more, if you're up for it," I told him, "but first, I want to clean up and get changed."

Jake nodded, and raised his eyebrows a little as he nodded towards the bathroom we shared. "Want me to wait outside? Just in case?"

In case I slipped in the shower and hurt myself, he meant.

Thing was, it actually wasn't a bad idea. I knew that the chances of injuring myself in the bathroom were, if not high, at least high enough to be a concern for me and Jake.

Still, it was just a little embarrassing to think that I might need someone there in case I fell and hit my head.

A couple of years ago, I might have laughed, given Jake a friendly punch in the shoulder, and said I'd be fine. But, I knew enough to ask for help-from him-when I thought I might need it.

It would be stupid if I ended up dying, or having to go to the ER that night, if I ended up slipping in the tub.

"Yeah," I said, a little quietly. "That'd be good."

Jake just pulled me into another bear hug, which I happily returned. We'd never been an overly huggy kind of family. With the exception of Mom, we didn't hug each other all that much. Not that we didn't show affection for each other. Even physical affection. High fives, arms around the shoulder, and of course, I'd put Jake in a headlock on occasion if we were rough housing. But hugging? Honestly, I couldn't remember the last time I had hugged Jake.

It hadn't seemed to register as important back then.

But things were different. The war had changed both of us, and we both could see it in each other.

"It's not your fault, Tom," he told me.

I nodded, still holding onto him. "Yeah."

After we let go, I headed into my bedroom to grab a fresh pair of pajamas before heading to the bathroom. With a lot of caution and deep breaths, I made through the entire shower without any accidents. After drying myself off, I brushed my teeth, which still felt weird to be doing on my own. Then, I changed into the fresh pajamas. I glanced at the other ones, wondering what to do with them. It seemed like I should either burn the last clothing I had worn while a slave to Gariss, or maybe keep them as some kind of memorial to the day I got my freedom back. I wasn't really sure which option I wanted more.

I left the bathroom dressed in my new pajamas but still holding the old pair. Jake, true to his word, was waiting right outside the door. I nodded at him.

"Jake? Want to talk in my room?" I asked him.

He smiled. "Yeah, okay."

Once we headed into my room, I stuffed the old pair of pajamas in the closet, on the floor. No need to decide right away. Actually, if I waited long enough, Mom might end up making the decision for me.

I jumped a little when Jake put an arm on my shoulder.

"Sorry," he apologized.

I shrugged it off, managing a laugh. "No big deal."

Jake stepped away from me, which stung a little. But, maybe, he was just trying to give me space.

"You okay?" he asked me.

I exhaled. "Better than I've been for two years," I told him, honestly. "But okay? That's...pretty far off."

"Yeah," he agreed, quietly. He looked around the room. I realized that he probably hadn't been in it, not for long periods of time, since he'd realized I'd been infested.

Was he remembering how we used to spend hours together in our rooms? Playing video games, reading. Homework. Just hanging out. I'd let our friendship drift apart when I first became involved with The Sharing, because I'd been obsessed with a girl, and I didn't think that Jake would have understood. Besides, even close siblings went through periods of distance when they were teenagers, right? Temrash and Gariss took that part of me and ran with it. Easier to spend time recruiting others when I had already done the hard work of breaking off regular contact from my family. I guessed my distancing myself from Jake and my parents had been normal enough behavior, for a teenager, but had I known my future back then...I forced myself to focus on the present.

I took a seat on my bed. Mom had made it this morning. Honestly, I'd probably made it five times in my life. I moved over to the head of the bed, picked up one of the pillows, and propped it up against my back.

Jake just stared around my room, looking as out of place as he must have felt. He probably wasn't even sure where to sit down for the conversation we'd be having about how my life was going to turn out.

"Hey, Midget? There's room over here, if you want," I told him, nodding to the empty space on the bed next to me.

After we'd outgrown our cribs, Mom and Dad had bought us each full sized beds. Their rationale was that we'd probably reach six feet at some point, and then they wouldn't have to replace them. I kind of thought they wanted us to know that we could have overnight sleepovers together when we were still little.

We were only two years apart, and we'd always been close.

The last one had probably been when I was ten, and Jake was eight.

He'd had a bad dream after seeing a scary movie, and I'd woken up at the (then late) hour of 10:30 to see my kid brother crying about a monster hiding in his closet. He hadn't wanted to go to Mom or Dad because they, of course, hadn't wanted him to watch the movie to begin with.

Being the overprotective older brother, I'd let him sleep next to me that night, but I'd made sure to tell him that he was getting too old for that.

If I'd known it was the last time we've have a brother sleepover...well, I probably would have still said it, but made it clear that I didn't mean it.

It was a memory that Temrash and Gariss liked to recall when they were feeling particularly nasty.

Anyway, Jake was closer to fifteen, now, but at my suggestion, you would have thought he was eight again. He sat down next to me, but stayed quiet, waiting for me to speak.

I put an arm around him, and I felt him relax a little as he settled against me.

More guilt flooded me. He'd been great at the big brother role earlier. Must have come with being the leader of his group. Plus the whole fighting aliens inside your head and trying to save your older brother from one thing. Still. He was way too young for that. What had Elfangor been thinking, giving the morphing power to a handful of kids?

Not that there had been much of a choice.

As defeated as I still felt, and as uncertain as my future was, I wanted to say something to make him feel better. To make everything okay.

He smiled at me as he climbed up and sat next to me. I glanced over at Jake, and he turned to me. I gave his shoulder a squeeze.

"Remember when we used to have sleepovers?" I asked him. "And we'd make those huge forts?"

He laughed. "And have pillow fights."

"I always beat you with those," I recalled.

A pillow fight, at least in our house, ended when one of us cried out that we surrendered. No one ever got seriously injured, but one time, Jake fell of the bed and nearly sprained his ankle. He'd been eight.

Naturally, that qualified as a win-on his end.

"Hey!" Jake protested, laughing, breaking away from my arm around him. "I won at least half the time."

A couple of years ago, I would have placed him in a headlock for that. Now, I just shrugged. "Well, it felt like I beat you more than that," I told him, because we were both expecting me to say something in protest.

Jake laughed, a little self-consciously. "Well, maybe it was fifty-fifty," he conceded.

"I'll give you that," I allowed.

I placed an arm around his shoulder again, tentatively, and he leaned in next to me. We were quiet for a few minutes.

"Jake?" I finally asked, wanting to test out the waters.

He turned to face me. "Yeah, Tom?"

"Are you okay?" I asked him.

Not the "brother of the year" speech by any means, but it was something. An opening. I knew we'd have to discuss the whole "do I become a host to Aftran or fake/have them fake my own death so I can live with a bunch of seven foot tall aliens?" question tonight or-at latest-tomorrow. A part of me wanted to put it off for as long as possible. Another part wanted to get it all out in the open and get Jake's insight on things. What might be a better solution.

Except, I was pretty sure I knew.

"I'm...better now that we got that slug out of you," he told me, his voice shaky. Like he was fighting back tears. "I've been waiting to do that for over two years."

I nodded. I was still trying to comprehend that Jake had known that I had been a Controller...if not for the entire time, at least a good portion of it. He'd tried to save me. He had saved me. Sure, I could be angry at him for not doing it earlier, but with the way Yeerks operated when one of their own had to starve or go incognito...it had been nearly impossible. Until now. With Aftran posing as Gariss--if I allowed it--the Yeerks would be none the wiser. But, I tried not to think about that, right now. 

Instead, I just tried to smile at Jake. Continue with the conversation we had already started. "I bet. Did I thank you, yet?"

He shrugged, clearly not remembering what, exactly, had happened during the first moments after I gained my freedom. It had been a blur for both of us. "Yeah, well," he replied.

I squeezed his arm with my free hand. "Thank you, Jake."

He smiled at me, but it looked like a sad one. Resigned, even. "Just part of the job description of being a leader of the Animorphs," he told me.

It was a position few people would apply for, but I wasn't about to say that.

"Yeah? Well, I'll tell your boss you deserve a raise," I told him, instead.

"And maybe a few vacation days?" Jake joked, but I could tell that he was probably worn out from being in this kind of a war 24/7.

I hoped that the stress of my no longer being an involuntary Controller could help. At least, with the emotional burden. Sure, he was fighting to save the world from slavery to parasites, but when it was your older brother, it had to feel a lot more personal.

"Definitely. And a lifelong pension. After saving the world, you deserve to be a billionaire. Bill Gates better watch out."

He laughed. "Yeah. But honestly? I'd just be happy if the Yeerks were gone and all of our families were safe."

"Me too. But an extra billion or two can't hurt, right?"

"Yeah. Okay. We'll get the boss to agree to that, too," he promised me, grinning.

We were quiet for a little while. I spoke next.

"So, you're sure we can trust her?"

"Tom, she could have turned us in for a big promotion. Probably, they would have let her pick any one of us as her new host. But she didn't. When Cassie found her, she'd been imprisoned by Visser Three."

"What about..." I tried to find the right words. "How's Cassie with the whole thing?"

It had been easy to see that Cassie and Aftran were friends, so that meant that Aftran was capable of being decent to her host. I hoped.

Jake chewed on his lower lip. "Honestly?" I nodded. "She's really happy. Like, happier than she's been in awhile. It's kind of weird, honestly."

I gave his arm a light punch. "That's weird?"

Jake shrugged, his face turning red. "I guess it's weird to think of anyone being a voluntary Controller."

So, Cassie was very happy with the arrangement, but not everyone was okay with Cassie having Aftran in her head. Which meant that Cassie had to be super stubborn. Also, Aftran had to be decent to her. Hadn't they shared control? Okay, a Yeerk can fake that kind of thing, but unless she had completely beaten Cassie into submission--which seemed highly unlikely--Cassie could just rat her out the next time Aftran left her head. It was more likely that they had one of those rare decent, symbiotic relationships. And her friends? They were weirded out by it, but they trusted both of them enough to allow Aftran to be in Cassie's head. At least, for the time being.

As well as to consider it a viable option when it came down to me. Plus, I wasn't exactly an average host to them. Not to give myself too much credit, but the mere fact that I was Jake's brother meant that he wanted me to be happy--or happy enough--and they would do what he wanted. Obviously, they didn't like the situation of anyone being a Controller, but when it came down to actual Yeerks, they saw Aftran as decent enough to stick me with.

If I agreed.

"Cassie isn't a voluntary Controller. Not really," I told him, wanting to distinguish, both in my mind and in his, the difference. "I've never actually seen the infestation process, but from what I've heard from Chapman's Yeerk...what normally happens when someone becomes a full member is that they're taken into a room and there's at least one other person there. The Yeerk's in a tank or something, ready for their new host. The full member-Controller-gives some speech about giving stuff up and finally goes into a very sugarcoated version of the Yeerks. Depending on who's in charge, the Controller may answer the person's questions. Especially if they seem receptive to the whole alien living in your brain thing. Otherwise, they'll force you to be infested. But even the people who become voluntary Controllers never get to choose their Yeerk."

Granted, I wasn't privy to what went on in the voluntary area, and to my knowledge, neither Temrash nor Gariss had ever had a voluntary host. Maybe the humans there did exchange Yeerks to find one they were better suited for, but honestly, I doubted it. Voluntary hosts were valued enough by the Yeerk empire, but while they received better treatment, they probably didn't have any say in who infested them.

I imagined that, theoretically, a voluntary host could end up with Temrash or Gariss as easily as I had. Maybe. But for all I knew, the nicer Yeerks could go exclusively to voluntary hosts. I knew that the retention rate for voluntary hosts-especially humans-was high, and infesting them with Yeerks known to be cruel didn't seem like the best way to keep them that way. So, they probably got the more decent Yeerks, and people like me got the worse ones.

Jake nodded. "I get that."

"Do you trust Aftran?" I asked him.

Maybe it was a silly question, given that he was giving me the option of being a Controller again-to her. He had to trust her, to some extent. Cassie did, and she, of all people, would be the one to be able to answer that question. Which she had, earlier.

Still, I wanted to hear it from Jake.

"Yeah. Aftran's definitely our ally. She's working for the only group of Yeerks that we know of that actually cares enough about other species to want to end forced infestation. Involuntary Controllers. Their numbers are pretty small now, but Cassie says that the group is growing. By a lot." He paused. "Would I want Aftran, or another Yeerk like her, in my head? No. And Cassie's pretty much the only one of us who would agree to that."

I knew what he wasn't saying. It's not like you have much of a choice. Not if you don't want to live in isolation from everything you've ever known.

He wouldn't say it out loud, but the sentiment was there. If I wanted a normal life, at least for the time being, I had to agree to Aftran living in my head. Otherwise, I'd have to go undercover.

Still, I had to ask...

"What if she decides to betray us after she infests me?"

Jake sort of laughed.

"Tom, if she was going to betray us for a promotion, she would have already done so. Cassie told me that she saw Karen when she was at the mall with Rachel. Shortly after they got out of the forest. She said that Karen had told her that she was free, that Aftran had kept her promise to let her go. I figured that it could have been Aftran, just then. She might have decided not to betray the empire, to keep Karen as her host, and later, to tell the visser everything. That would have made sense, because we would have been even more off guard. Especially Cassie. But she didn't. And the next time Cassie heard anything about Aftran, it was from Illim, who was in the Peace Movement, and he had told her that Aftran had been captured and was going to be questioned. Again, maybe a trap, but at this point, it seemed unlikely. Because he knew all about us, and why go to all the hassle of trying to capture us when he could just report us to Visser Three and get a promotion that way? Even if it was too late for Aftran to do much except maybe escape with her life, and knowing Visser Three, he'd probably kill her anyway. So," Jake concluded, "I figured that we could trust the Peace Movement. At least, Illim and Aftran."

I had to focus on what Jake was saying, like really focus, in order to follow his train of thought. But it made sense.

At least, the bottom line was that Aftran and Illim wouldn't betray us because, according to Jake, they had already reached the "point of no return" with the Yeerk Empire. They would have nothing to gain by betraying us, because Visser Three would just torture and kill them after they brought him the information. 

We could trust Aftran. Which, I realized, I had known from the start. They wouldn't have let Cassie with them on a mission, at least with Aftran, if they didn't trust her. Nor would they risk using me as a liaison if she wasn't trustworthy and at least half decent to her host.

"I get what you're saying," I told Jake.

I shut my eyes, briefly. Tried to imagine the horror of being a host again, but this time, with a Yeerk who would be kind to me. It still seemed foreign to me. Almost laughable. "Do you think...would I get any control with her in my head?"

"She better let you have control," Jake practically snarled, then stopped himself. Calmer, he said, "You could tell her you want it when they come back tomorrow."

"So...like have a list of items I want?" I asked. The idea seemed laughable...but then again, Aftran wasn't an ordinary Yeerk. Since she worked to end forced infestation, she'd probably be more receptive to a host's needs more than my old Yeerks. Or even just the average Yeerk who didn't torture their host for their own sadistic pleasure, or taken by this belief that all hosts needed to be broken or else you weren't a "real" Yeerk, but also didn't care enough about causing them pain by taking over their body and their life.

"Yeah. You could tell me what you want from her. If you let her in your head. Have you thought about that?" he asked me.

"A little," I admitted. "Since that seems to be where we're headed."

Jake shook his head. "It's your choice, Tom."

"I know." So they kept saying. "But you have to admit that putting Aftran in my brain and using me as a liaison for the Animorphs and the Peace Movement works out a whole lot better for everyone than faking my death and going into hiding," I pointed out.

Jake looked away from me, as though I'd hit him. "I agree that neither one is ideal," he muttered.

I put a hand on his shoulder. "Midget."

He looked back at me. I could see there were a couple of tears in his eyes.

"You freed me," I told him. "The hell that I was in for the last couple of years...you can't imagine. Trust me, you don't even want to. Not to be dramatic, but itt's worse than anything you could imagine. And, I really thought that I was going to either die in battle, or live this way for decades before I died or they killed me because I was no longer a good enough host. It's true that I'm not exactly gung ho about letting a strange Yeerk into my head, or living with a bunch of aliens for the next several years, but either option sounds way better than how things were up until today. So, look. I'm sorry, if I'm sounding like I'm complaining. I'm not. Really. I just...I guess I just want to make the best choice. The one that I can live with."

Jake just nodded. He was probably trying to fight back tears. I wanted to tell him it was okay to cry in front of me, but maybe Jake was still in leader mode and thought he had to fight back his emotions in order to make a good decision. To help me made one.

He did hug me for probably the hundredth time that day. "Thanks," he told me.

I squeezed back, not letting go until a few minutes had passed. But even then, I couldn't help but run a hand through his hair affectionately.

"So, about these negotiations..." I began.

"Can I tell you what I'd ask for, if it was me?" Jake asked me.

"Sure." I paused, thinking for a minute about what my kid brother would want. Well, would want for me. "I already know you're on board with my asking for control. At least some of the time."

"Most of the time," Jake corrected. "Because even if it ends up being something like fifty fifty, you don't want to go in thinking something like, 'Oh, if I have control over my body for just an hour a day, that would be great.' I'm not saying that Aftran would take advantage of it, but you have to want it. And ask for it."

"Good point," I conceded. I paused, then said, "Jake, you might hate this, but I want it to be on a trial period. Enough time for me to get used to Aftran, but I need to know I have the chance to change my mind if it's not working out."

"I don't hate that." Jake's eyebrows raised, showing his surprise that I would think this. "It's a good idea."

My kid brother, the leader. Fighting a war against alien parasites. Yeah, the idea of a potential temporary alliance would have occurred to him.

"It wouldn't be a permanent trial period," I added. "You know, renew every month and all that. I'd make a decision after I felt like I had enough time to get to know her, and to figure things out."

"Right. Exactly." Jake was nodding. "It's a smart idea."

I chewed on my lip as I thought. "Some privacy would be good. I mean, she'll be able to read all of my thoughts, and I heard that when a Yeerk first infests a host, they see a flash of memories in the beginning. They say that to the would be new voluntaries, anyway. But, you know, no digging through my memories without a good reason."

"She would need to access information in order to play your Yeerk," Jake reminded me.

"I know. Maybe I should say that she shouldn't go through my memories just because she can?" I amended.

"Yeah." Jake was quiet for a minute before he asked, "Did they do that a lot?"

Daily. At a minimum.

"Well, yeah, sometimes," I replied, evasively.

Jake sighed. "A lot, then."

I took a deep breath. "Yeah."

"The bad ones?"

I nodded. "Always. But with the Yeerks I've had..." I felt my voice crack. "They can make the best ones into horrible memories."

"Tom..."

I shook my head. "Hey. It's over now."

Kind of. Anyway, I didn't want to talk about what Temrash and Gariss had done to me. Not tonight, anyway. I wanted to solve the Aftran problem before opening up about the others. The trauma that I knew I was going to be facing for the rest of my life, Yeerk or no Yeerk.

Jake nodded in agreement, accepting, if not what I said, at least what I meant. We didn't say anything for awhile, but Jake squeezed my hand fiercely. Probably imagining what I had gone through over the past two years. I wanted to tell him not to bother. That he couldn't begin to understand it. But while it would be true, it would also come across as harsh. Also, like I was blaming him. I wasn't. He'd gotten me out as soon as he thought that he could.

Finally, Jake spoke up again.

"I thought of something else you could ask for. I think she'd agree."

"Yeah? What's that?"

I thought we'd covered everything. Some control, no abuse of my memory, trial basis. What else was there, really?

"Have her leave your head sometimes. In addition to every three days, to feed, I mean. Maybe every day or so. When I'm there. So we can sort of check in, talk, maybe even shoot hoops? Just, you know, brother stuff."

"I could do that with her in my head," I pointed out.

"Yeah, but even if she gave you control, she'd still be there. If she left for a couple of hours, I could spend time with you. You, you. And, you know, see how you're actually doing," Jake explained.

"Right," I agreed. "That makes sense."

It did, too. Also, I realized, that plus the trial period idea really gave me more control. Not just control. Power. I'd need time to trust Aftran, and these two safeguards would help that process. Knowing that she wouldn't be in my head all the time-minus feeding-gave me a feeling of incredible relief. Jake was right. He could see how I was doing. Maybe, even, give me and Aftran tips on cohabitating. Or whatever it was when you agreed to share your mind with an alien. I didn't think there was a word for it-yet-in any dictionary.

I nodded again, mostly to myself. "I think that would really help. Thank you," I told Jake.

He smiled at me, then yawned. "Anything else you can think of?"

"Anything you can think of?" I replied.

He shook his head, trying unsuccessfully to hide a yawn. "I think we covered everything, honestly."

I glanced at the clock near my bed. "It's getting late," I told him.

It was only just after 9:00, but it had been an exhausting day. Probably for both of us.

"Right." Jake made as though to get up. "Well, I'll see you tomorrow then."

I put an arm on his shoulder. "You can stay here tonight. If you want to."

"Really?"

I nodded. "Sure, Midget. I could use the company."

He grinned. "Okay. I'll just go get changed, you know. Brush my teeth and all."

"I'll be here," I promised.

He got up and left the room. I pulled the covers away from my bed and slid under the sheet. I was just getting comfortable when I heard Jake return and slide in next to me.

"Did you want to talk more, or are you ready for bed?" he asked me.

"Ready for bed," I told him. "Get the light, would you?"

Jake turned off the light next to him, and settled himself in close to me. His head resting on my shoulder. I wrapped my arms around him, and waited for sleep to come.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A longer chapter than the other two, but the remaining ones will probably be shorter in length.
> 
> If you've read this far, please take a minute to leave feedback.


	4. Chapter 4

I slept better that night than I had since before I had become a slave to the Yeerks. No nightmares, no dreams at all. Just nine or so hours of complete, uninterrupted rest. When I woke up, I felt slightly disoriented, waiting for Gariss' cruel voice in my head, followed by his movements of my body. But there was no voice, and my body was my own. I let out a breath as I realized this, then recalled the events of the previous day.

Gariss was gone. He wouldn't hurt me anymore, or be able to infest my family.

I was safe. At least, safe from him.

Granted, I wouldn't be Yeerk free for long. I'd be given over to Aftran, if she agreed to what I asked from her. But based on everything I'd heard from her, Cassie, and Jake, being her host wouldn't be nearly as bad as what I'd gone through from Gariss and Temrash. I'd have control, at least some of the time, and she'd be kind to me.

The idea of a kind Yeerk seemed foreign to me, but I had known-abstractly-that they existed. After all, there were voluntary Controllers, so they had to have a decent relationship with their Yeerk. Plus, the Peace Movement. Which Aftran was a part of.

A big part of. Enough that Visser Three wanted to torture her, and then kill her, in front of the other Yeerks and hosts watching.

I didn't want any Yeerk in my head, but if I had to have one, I could probably do a lot worse than Aftran.

Had done a lot worse than Aftran.

I still had my arms wrapped around Jake. He was still sleeping, looking peaceful, breathing steadily. I wasn't tired enough to go back to bed, but I didn't want to wake Jake up with any sudden moves, so I just lay there, holding him close.

My thoughts drifted back to the previous day, and the decision I had to make. Having talked it over with Jake last night, it seemed like I had already made my decision. But I wanted to think it over now, without Jake or the others influencing me. I knew that Jake would support whatever I decided, and it felt like we had made a decision last night, but I needed to think things through again. By myself.

I could either let Aftran in my head, indefinitely, and have her pose to the Yeerk empire as Gariss. That would give me some freedom, and my brother and his friends a spy within the empire. Gariss hadn't been a sub-visser, but he had been a near second in command to Innis Two-Two-Six (my brother's vice president, Chapman), who reported directly to Visser Three. So, while Gariss may not have any direct command power, he had access to a lot of information about the workings of The Sharing and Visser Three's inane plots to trap the "Andalite Bandits" and, otherwise, destroy humanity.

Posing as Gariss would give Jake and his friends access to all of that information, even before the rest of the empire knew it. They could sabotage plans before they were fully formed. Not all of the time-Visser Three wasn't stupid, and he would eventually suspect a mole. Still, they could do a lot more damage this way.

And even though I'd have a Yeerk in my head, Aftran had promised to be decent to me, to give me control, and not to hurt my family. She probably suspected that I was damaged, and would try to rehabilitate me.

The other option was participating in a plan to fake my own death and go to live with the free Hork-Bajir. There was a very real chance that I would never see my parents again. I would be running away from the war, after being a prisoner of it for over two years. But I would never escape the war, because the Hork-Bajir would be constant reminders of the damage the Yeerk empire had already done.

It meant I would be completely free as far as not having a Yeerk in my head, monitoring my thoughts and controlling my body. It also meant-maybe-that I would stay damaged. I didn't see how I could really recover in that kind of a situation. Wasn't it better to sacrifice some freedom and privacy for recovering? For helping to destroy the Yeerk empire from the inside?

The more I thought about it, the more appealing partnering up with Aftran seemed. For everyone.

Besides, if it didn't work out in a month or so, we could always revisit things.

Okay, so I'd become a host again. The idea filled me with familiar horror, the way I felt when the Hork-Bajir guards came to unlock my cage after Gariss or Temrash had finished feeding. My few hours of freedom were up, and I was about to become enslaved, again.

I reminded myself that Aftran would be different. She'd help me, not hurt me. She'd help all of us.

I could live with that.

Maybe ten minutes later, Jake's eyes opened. At first, his eyes widened, but before I could say anything, his mind must have recalled what had happened during the last day or so. I could see him visibly relax against me again.

"Hey, Midget," I said, glancing down at him.

"Hey, Giant," he replied, yawning a little.

His nickname for me, which he hadn't used in over two years. I was insanely happy that he remembered it.

He lay nestled against me for a little while, evidently not ready to get up.

Maybe, like me, he was worried about what the day would bring.

Finally, though, Jake stretched and shrugged his way out of my hug. "Gotta use the bathroom," he told me.

I nodded, and stretched, moving myself into a sitting position. I had just gotten out of bed when he returned to my room. Jake still looked a little unsure about being there, or maybe he was just not sure how to act around me.

"Want to grab breakfast?" I asked him. "Smells like Mom's making pancakes."

"Sure." He stretched, and we made our way downstairs.

If our parents were surprised to see us together, acting friendlier than usual, they didn't say anything. But I thought that they may have exchanged one of those parent glances at each other.

I was right about the pancakes. They'd always been one of my favorites. My last meal hadn't seemed to bother my stomach, so hopefully, my body was adjusting. And it might have to adjust again once Aftran's mind joined mine.

Maybe it was the practice, from talking to Jake and walking around and having to use my body without the help of a Yeerk. Or maybe it was the pancakes. But it seemed easier to eat and function as a human than it had before.

I still had flashbacks. Memories of being imprisoned in my mind during similar family meals, while Gariss or Temrash tortured me with images of my parents' and brother's heads dangling beneath the infestation pier. Or, possibly worse, chopped off by Visser Three's tail. Me screaming in my mind, begging them to stop, but knowing they wouldn't until they had played out their fantasy to cause the maximum amount of damage possible. At this recollection, I felt myself gripping my knife tightly, and Jake staring down at his plate, as though trying to give me a way to save face. Or just not give my parents any reason to suspect that something was wrong. Whatever it was, fortunately, my parents seemed oblivious, and the memories passed after a few minutes.

You're free, Tom, I told myself. They can't hurt you.

Well, the second part was true. The first? I was likely to be enslaved by another Yeerk before too long.

Even if we weren't calling it that.

Even if she turned out to be as decent as Cassie and Jake promised.

After we finished eating, Mom said that she had some book club meeting, and Dad had an emergency patient to see, so after we cleaned up the dishes (yes, Jake and I helped, much to our mom's surprise), we had the house to ourselves.

"Should I-are you ready for me to call everyone?" he asked me.

I managed a nod, feeling the uncertainty bubble up in my again. The anxiety. But, better to get it over with. Jake empathetically squeezed my hand as he spoke to everyone on the phone.

Jake finally hung up the phone for good.

"Maybe...let's just wait here," I said, nodding at the now empty kitchen table.

"Okay," Jake agreed.

We sat down next to each other. Jake put one arm around my shoulder, and squeezed my hand with his free one.

"Are you going to be all right?" he asked me.

I sighed. "Sure hope so, Midget."

I felt him squeeze my shoulders. "I'm here for you. Just remember what we talked about."

"Right." I managed a nod. Took a deep breath. "Yeah. Okay."

Twenty or so minutes later, Marco arrived. A few minutes later, Tobias and Ax, both in their human morphs. Then, Rachel. No Cassie.

"She said a half hour," Jake told me. "It's only been about twenty minutes."

Finally, I heard the doorbell ring again, and Jake and Rachel jumped up to answer it.

"Hey!" I heard her say.

"Come on in, Cassie. My parents are out. We're meeting in the kitchen," Jake told her.

She smiled a little, then joined us at the kitchen table.

Once the chatter had died down, Jake turned to me. "Okay, I'm gonna let Tom speak, now."

"Jake and I talked last night. A lot," I began. Instinctively, I turned to Jake, who placed an arm around my shoulder and squeezed tightly. I still couldn't get over the role reversal, but I couldn't deny that I was touched, and grateful, for Jake's protective stance. Even around his friends.

After the two years I'd had, I needed it.

"So," I began. "I want to give Aftran a try, but there are a few things I need from her. Um, Cassie? She's in your head right now?"

"Yes, Tom," she affirmed.

"Can-can I talk to her directly?"

I wasn't sure how Cassie felt about giving Aftran total control to communicate with me. But she hadn't seemed to mind yesterday when she had to let the Yeerk take over.

"Sure," she said now, as though it was no big deal.

A few second later, Aftran spoke. "It's me, Aftran. Hello, Tom."

They say that you can't tell the difference between a Yeerk and their host. That when they're speaking, they sound the same. Maybe that's the case, but I noticed a change from Cassie to Aftran. Aftran was speaking with more...reassurance. She sounded calm, measured. I didn't think she was doing this in a calculating manner, more wanting to convey a sense of...trust, maybe?

Reassurance?

She had to guess how difficult this was for me. Going back to the Yeerks after being a slave for two years. What had been the state of mind of her previous hosts? Hadn't the only human been Karen? I was pretty sure that they had said Aftran had been Karen's first-only-Yeerk. So, she might suspect the damage that Temrash and Gariss had done to my mind, but she couldn't have experienced it. Not from human hosts.

"Hi." I paused before continuing, needing to get my thoughts in order. It had been easier last night, talking to Jake. "Um, okay, so, here's what Jake and I were talking about. And I think it's reasonable so..." I trailed off.

Aftran nodded. "Of course. Go ahead, Tom," she said, encouragingly.

"Well, obviously, I want full control whenever possible," I began. Hastily, I added, "I mean, I get that you'll need it for Sharing meetings and Yeerk stuff and when we're at the Yeerk Pool." My shoulders lowered. "But when it's not necessary, I want to be in charge of my body."

No surprise registered on Cassie's face. "Of course," she told me. "I promise not to take control unless it's absolutely necessary for our cover. What else?"

I stared her right in the eyes. "Next thing is my memories. I know you'll need to use them to figure out what my old Yeerk was like and to play his part when you have to. Just...no digging around without my permission. No replaying stuff for fun," I clarified. "I want some privacy."

Or a semblance of it. I knew that Yeerks could read human thoughts without any effort. It was possible that whatever I thought to myself would be as clear to her as if I told it to her directly. If she couldn't help that...well, that was one thing. But I knew that she could control which memories she viewed and which she left alone.

Aftran just nodded again. This didn't seem to phase her, either. "I won't do anything to unnecessarily invade your privacy, and I certainly won't misuse this privilege of being able to view your thoughts, Tom," she promised.

I swallowed hard. "I probably should have started with this," I realized, feeling stupid, even though this wasn't a presentation for school and I wasn't going to be deducted points for not stating my thoughts in a clear and linear fashion. "I want it to be on a trial basis. Like, maybe a month. I want to see what it's like to live with you before I decide for sure. I-I need to know that being free is still an option even after you go into my head."

Before Aftran could say anything, Jake came to my defense. "I'm in agreement with this. If it comes down to faking Tom's death, we can do it as easily within a month or so as right now."

I was glad we had discussed this earlier. Glad that he had been so quick to agree. If Aftran hesitated, or if she tried to hesitate to leave me if I told her to in a month's time, she'd know that I had Jake on my side.

Aftran didn't seem surprised by this request. "If you're unhappy in a month's time, or however long you wish, I promise to leave and not return," she said, simply.

"The next thing...the last thing," I confirmed. "I know you're going to leave every three days to go to the Yeerk Pool to feed. In addition to that, every three days, I want you to leave my head for a couple of hours. So I can check in with Jake. You know, talk to him without you."

"So I can know he's doing okay," Jake explained to Aftran-and to the others. "And so we can reconnect."

"Right," I told her. I paused before adding, "So, Aftran?"

Aftran smiled. "I'm happy to leave your head every three days, or more often, if you should want that, so you and your brother can touch base. For as long as you need. That is, both in terms of hours and as long as I am in your head. I promise."

Jake and I exchanged looks at each other. This had gone easier than we had thought it would. Or, at least, than I thought it would.

"Is there anything else?" Aftran asked us.

I just shook my head, and Jake followed suit.

"Okay. I guess... then I agree. We'd better do it now, though. Before I chicken out."

No one seemed very surprised, although I could tell by their reactions that none them (except Cassie, maybe) wanted to be in my position.

I stood up, even though it wasn't really necessary. Aftran could infest me as easily sitting down. But standing up...it felt like I had more control over the situation. Who would have thought I would be agreeing to become a host to a Yeerk less than twenty-four hours after being freed? "Better do it now, before I chicken out," I half joked, half cautioned her.

"Tom, you're incredibly brave," Aftran (or maybe it was Cassie) told me, speaking in a calm and steadying tone. "All right."

Cassie stood up and walked towards me, stopping as her ear was mere inches away from mine. "Ready?"

I nodded, briefly. Or at least, moved my head a little. "Yeah."

I realized I was fighting the urge to bolt. Or just to panic.

Fortunately, I saw Jake come over and stand next to me. Hold my hand. I gave it a tight squeeze, as though to say, "Don't you dare let go, Midget."

He squeezed back, seeming to get my unspoken message. I inhaled, then exhaled. I could do this. I felt Jake squeeze my hand again, and began murmuring into my other ear that it was going to be all right.

I didn't see Aftran leave Cassie's body or start to enter mine.

But I could feel it.

One thing I will say that's positive about the way Yeerks evolved to take over other hosts. Apparently, painkillers came with it. In the early days of my infestation, I'd feel a sharp pain before the painkilling agent the Yeerk released would pick up. Whether my Yeerks chose to wait to release the painkiller or it was something that every human host experienced was beyond me.

Had I been voluntary, maybe it would have come up in the room with the other hosts and the TV. Around three months into my infestation, even that pain stopped. Whether it was because Temrash (and later Gariss) became better at knowing when to release the agent on my ear or whether it was because my ear had gotten used to a Yeerk crawling in and out of it was, honestly, beyond me.

Still. The whole process could have hurt way more than it did.

Granted, since your pain becomes the Yeerk's pain after they take over, it makes sense that they would want to cause as little of it as possible.

When Aftran's body approached my ear, I felt the painkiller release itself almost as soon as I felt her touch my ear. There was still the feeling of pressure as she made her way into my head. I guess that part never goes away. But the whole experience of infestation, just the infestation itself, is maybe a 0.5 on the old 1-10 scale of pain.

If that.

I took another deep breath.

As always, I felt myself lose control little by little as she crawled in further, making her way around inside my brain. I imagined that the loss of control on my end was something that she couldn't prevent.

I tried to focus on details like this. The familiarity of it.

Because I really didn't want to start panicking, and I knew that in a few minutes, the only creature who would be able to hear my screams would be Aftran. I forced myself to breathe in, breathe out. Squeezed the hell out of Jake's hand, but I didn't hear him complain.

A few minutes later that felt like hours later, Aftran had fully connected with my brain. I was completely powerless in my mind. Then, before she even said anything to me, she released control. All of it. I felt myself relax.

(Hi,) I said, calmer now that I was back in charge. Grateful. (So, you're Aftran.)

(Hello, Tom,) she said, softly.

Kindly. Gently. Funny how those two words could convey so much. But in the past few seconds, she'd shown me more kindness than Temrash or Gariss ever had.

(Thanks for...you know. Giving me back control,) I told her.

She knew, of course. But it seemed necessary to tell her. Acknowledge it.

(You're welcome,) Aftran said. She paused before adding, (I wanted you to know that I keep my promises.)

I managed a laugh inside my head. (Yeah, well, you know...)

She gave a mental nod. Understanding. (I do,) she murmured. (It won't be like that. Not like before.)

(Okay.)

I wanted to believe her. I did. Well, maybe 70%.

I was still scared. How could I not be?

"Tom?" Cassie asked, looking anxious.

Right. They were waiting for me to speak. Or for Aftran. Someone to let them know that I hadn't gone crazy in my head.

I made myself nod at Cassie. "Yeah, it's still me. Tom. Aftran's here, too," I added, even though they already knew this.

"You...okay?" Jake asked me, still holding my hand.

I inhaled slowly. "I...I think so." I paused, then added, "It's gonna take some getting used to," I added.

Cassie let out a breath of air.

(I won't hurt you, Tom,) Aftran promised me. (It may take some time for you to believe me, but you can trust me.)

(It's...more than that,) I told her, even though she could probably already tell what I meant. (The other Yeerks...and it's been over two years. I'm damaged.)

(I know. I can help you with that,) she reassured my, still "speaking" quietly. (I don't have personal experience with...this...but many of the members of the Peace Movement do. It's something they discuss at meetings. Often. Ways to help hosts who have been mistreated.)

(I guess that's good to know,) I allowed. (That you're kind of equipped to deal with it, I mean. Not that there are so many others.)

(Yes.)

Not that this was a huge surprise.

"I guess that's it, then," Jake was saying.

Cassie, standing up again, turned to me. "You sure you're okay?"

I managed a smile and shrugged. "Like I said. Gonna take some time," I told her.

Everyone left after wishing me luck and saying their goodbyes. I wondered if my hosting Aftran would mean that I would be a part of their meetings. She'd definitely want to communicate information to them about any updates on the invasion. Since Gariss had been close to Chapman's Yeerk, I would be privy to a whole lot of information.

Another reason why keeping me as a host had been a smart idea.

It was now just me, Aftran, and Jake.

He looked at me, eyebrows narrowed slightly in concern. "You okay?" He paused before adding, "Are you in control?"

I nodded. "Yeah. I mean, yeah, it's Tom. Aftran can hear you and everything, but I'm in control."

Jake looked like he wanted to take my hand, put an arm around my shoulder, something like that. But he didn't. He didn't say anything for a few minutes. We just stood there.

"I'm not sure what to do," he admitted.

I knew what he meant. Was he supposed to keep an eye on my the whole day? As much as he could? Wait for any sign that I was unhappy under Aftran's control? And if I was, and she took control, it wasn't like I'd be able to warn him.

I could feel Aftran's unease at the back of my mind as she heard these thoughts.

(Tom, I won't hurt you,) she reminded me, in that soft spoken voice of hers.

I wanted to say that I wanted to believe her, but that kind of trust needed to be earned. That a few minutes of her in my head-even if Cassie and the others vouched for her-wasn't going to undo what over two years of abuse by her kind had done to me.

Because, honestly, I didn't need to. She knew. Even without looking through my memories, she could tell. Just by my thoughts, my emotions.

It helped, if that made any sense, that she was disturbed by my treatment by Gariss and Temrash. I wasn't naive enough to think that Aftran had been kind to all of her previous hosts. Probably, Cassie was the first one that she had treated with any decency. And infesting a kid...I nearly shuddered visibly.

But she was my only chance as a normal life.

Anyway, at least she saw that there were lines that my other Yeerks had crossed.

"Tom?" Jake asked me.

I shook my head. "Sorry. Lost in my thoughts. It's...I don't know," I admitted. "Maybe you could stay home today, but not, like, be a few feet away from me at all times?" I smiled to show that I was teasing him. A little.

"Yeah. Well, I've got some homework to do, and I guess you and Aftran probably want to get to know each other. I'll be around, though. If you need anything," Jake told me. "She'll feed on Monday, right? Officially?"

(That's correct, but for your former Yeerk,) Aftran told me. (I fed on Friday afternoon, so waiting until after school ended on Monday would be...precarious.)

(But for the sake of appearances...) I trailed off.

(We could ask Erek to come over today for me to feed, and then I could feed again a the Yeerk Pool tomorrow evening. A second feeding in two days won't hurt me, and it will put me on the same schedule as your former Yeerk,) Aftran offered.

I conveyed this to Jake.

"I'll let Erek know," he told me. "Any time today?"

(Whatever works for him. As long as it's today,) Aftran told me.

I repeated this, verbatim, and he nodded. "Okay. I'll call him now."

"Great. Thanks."

I wasn't sure what to do next. Gariss probably would have had me doing some Sharing thing, or maybe spend the time working on my homework. Come to think of it, I should probably get started on that. He hadn't done anything on Friday before we'd been "kidnapped" by Jake's friends.

(I can help you, if you want,) Aftran offered, hesitantly.

A part of me wanted to refuse, to say that I was completely capable of getting my work done without her.

But I knew she was only trying to help. And if she was anything like Gariss or Temrash, we'd get the work done much faster together than I would have on my own.

(Sure,) I agreed. (Just, don't take control without warning me, okay?)

(Of course, Tom,) she promised.

So, we gathered my books and head to my room, where we spent the next couple of hours immersed in schoolwork.

When I'd been infested with Temrash and Gariss, doing homework was one of the only times they left me alone. Kind of. Aside from a comment about how trivial everything we learned was, or how slow humans were, or some variation of these comments, they actually to focus some attention on doing my work, and this limited their brainpower for making my life miserable. Even though Temrash had pretty much broken me by the time Gariss came along, Gariss still found ways to make my life miserable.

Aftran was different. Not only did she not take control, but she helped me with the work instead of just doing it for me. I needed a lot of help. I'd tried to keep up with everything when I'd gotten infested with Temrash, because I figured it was only a matter of time before I was freed, and I didn't want to have to spend the summer in school because I'd failed to keep up. As the months passed and it became clear that I'd spend the remainder of my life as a slave, I didn't care as much about school. I'd never been one that enjoyed school for the sake of learning, so while that might have been a motivator for some hosts, it wasn't for me. I ended up being behind by a year and a half in most of my classes. For English and History, it didn't matter, because the information for each unit didn't build on the ones before it. Even science, at least the way we learned it, was kind of isolated by each year. But math was harder. Fortunately, math and science were the two things that Aftran was really good at. And being in contact with my head, she could teach me things way faster than my teachers could have. So, when I needed her help, she was there.

She didn't try to force me to accept her help. Mostly, she let me work through everything on my own, going at my own pace. It was probably a lot slower than she would have gone, but she didn't hurry me along, and her emotions indicated that she wasn't impatient or angry at me for taking awhile to understand everything.

It probably would have taken even longer without her, were I to be completely honest with myself. I realized that I was used to the extra mind next to mine by now. Working without anyone there would have felt too weird, and it would have been its own distraction. Without taking control, Aftran helped me stay focused.

Moreover, when I came to something I didn't understand, she help me. Maybe not as much in English or History, as in math and science, but there, she was light years ahead of me. Not that she lorded it over me like I was some dumb human.

We took a quick break for lunch. I didn't say much to her, because eating on my own seemed to require more focus and effort than doing homework. I wasn't sure why this was-surely it would have been the other way around? Maybe, I kept thinking that my body would reject what I ate because a Yeerk wasn't in charge of it. Which hadn't happened yet. I wasn't even sure where I had gotten that idea from. A nightmare, possibly? Some weird sci-fi movie? Or just this innate fear that because Yeerks had evolved to infest other species and take full control, the body of the species wouldn't function normally afterwards?

We returned to work after I finished and cleaned up. Aftran was still quiet in my head, probably just taking the time to observe me. No, to understand me. Observing felt like something a scientist would do in a lab. Impartial. I had to believe that Aftran cared about me, or at least my wellbeing, or she wouldn't have agreed to this. It would have been easier for her to stay with Cassie. Of the two hosts, she was the better choice. Not even counting the fact that she was morph capable. Why choose a broken down human like me when you could have someone who was normal and actually wanted her there?

The thought was depressing, and I was glad to have the excuse of homework to take my mind off of it.

I finished my assignments for class, and I wasn't desperate enough to work ahead or study for a Biology test that was coming up in two weeks. Aftran stayed in the back of my mind, watching me, not talking unless I spoke to her, but it wasn't like I could just forget that she was there. I headed to Jake's room. Even though the door was open, I knocked lightly, and heard him call, "Come in."

"It's me," I said, noticing that he was also working on homework. I wondered how much sleep he was getting. Fighting the Yeerks had to be nearly a full time job, and as far as I could tell from our parents, his grades weren't low enough for them to be concerned.

Then again, maybe I hadn't noticed because of everything else I had been going through.

Jake pushed aside his book. "Hey," he greeted. "How's everything?"

I shrugged. I didn't have anything negative to report about Aftran, but I felt weird talking about her, knowing that she could hear everything I said.

Then again, Yeerks often spoke about their hosts as though they weren't there, and sometimes in very unflattering terms.

The involuntary ones, naturally. The biggest complaints were that we weren't shut up and wouldn't stop fighting for control. The first was one they tended to take more seriously. If you couldn't tune out your host, Yeerk "wisdom" said, you should just continue to make their life miserable through subjugation. The problem with that was if you played horrible memories over and over, your host may stop screaming at the Yeerk to leave their body, but then the Yeerk had to deal with their cries at being tortured.

It was a tough life, working for the empire.

I could feel Aftran's unease in the back of my mind. Her not quite disagreeing with what I was thinking-how could she?-but still disheartened that I was thinking it.

I couldn't read her mind, but over the past two years, I'd become pretty good at reading the emotions of the parasite in my head. Aside from their thoughts they chose to share with me, it was all the information about them I had to go on.

"It's fine. Still weird," I admitted. "Especially since she can hear everything I'm saying."

Jake managed a laugh. "And it's not like we can speak in code or anything, because she'd understand what you're saying."

I snorted. "Basically."

"Well, Erek said that he'll be over at three, so..."

It was currently a little after two. "Is he going to do a hologram or something? Dad's not back yet, but I heard Mom in her study earlier."

Jake took a minute to consider this. "He could. Aftran has to be facing him to receive the Kandrona rays, right? It's not like we can just put her in my desk while he's there."

(That's correct,) Aftran told me, before I could ask her.

"Yeah, she says that's right," I told him. "Personally, I'm more concerned about Mom or Dad overhearing us. Even if we change names and stuff. Not just today, either."

"I'm pretty sure that Erek's holograms take sound into account," Jake told me. "But I'll ask when he gets here. We could go outside, too."

"Same potential problem, though," I pointed out.

"Yeah. Well, we should know when he gets here." Jake didn't seem all that concerned. Maybe it was because our parents weren't Controllers, so anything they happened to overhear would just sound odd to them. I hoped.

I nodded to Jake's book. "What are you working on?" I asked him.

"Paper for George Orwell's Animal Farm," he told me. "Well, it's going to be a paper, once I finish the book and pick a topic."

"That the one where the animals all rebel against the humans and create their own society?" I asked him. I remembered some of it. I'd finished it maybe a month before I'd gotten infested.

"Yeah. I'm up to the part where Mollie runs away, and it turns out she's found a human to take care of her," Jake told me.

"Do you want me to leave so you can work on it?" I asked.

He shook his head. "But I want to get it finished before Erek gets here."

"Got it. I'll get a book or something and keep you company," I told him.

He gave me a half smile. "Thanks."

"And if you need any help with the paper...I finished the book before I got infested, so..."

"That would be great," he told me, sincerely.

I ended up reading one of his science fiction comic books while Jake worked. Kind of silly, since our lives had turned into a science fiction story, but it was something to do.

Erek rang the bell promptly at three, and we made our way downstairs to meet him.

"Hello, Jake," his classmate/android said. He smiled at me. "Tom. How are things going?"

Jake sort of shrugged and gave me a nod. "Well, Aftran's about to feed, so..."

"We are about to find out," was what Jake didn't say, but may as well have said.

We walked to the kitchen to get a glass of water, then head back to Jake's bedroom.

"You'll do a hologram while Aftran feeds?" Jake asked Erek. "And it will cover sound, as well?"

Erek nodded. "If your parents come by, they will see you both immersed in studying," he told us.

Given that's what we had been doing earlier, it wasn't too far from the truth.

(Okay, well, I guess I'll see you in about two hours?) I asked Aftran.

(Yes, that should be enough time for me to feed,) she told me. (I hope you enjoy the time with your brother.)

I felt a pang. She must know that I was glad that she was leaving-and it had only been a few hours.

(Aftran,) I began, then stopped.

She gave a sort of half sigh. (It should get easier, Tom. Especially after we become...better acquainted.)

(I don't hate you,) I told her. It felt important that she should know this.

She laughed. (I know. It's the situation. You realize it's the best one available, at least for now, but it's still strange and unfamiliar.) She paused. (Or, perhaps, too familiar.)

(Yeah, but not in the bad ways,) I said. (I mean...it hasn't been awful, so far.)

Another laugh. (I understand, Tom. I'll see you soon.)

She began to disengage from my head. I felt a combination of relief and loss when I placed her in the water.

Great. I had a hard time with Aftran being in my head, but I still wasn't used to being alone, either.

At least I could blame my messed up state on the Yeerks.

I was able to be honest with Jake. I figured that even if he'd never been a Controller, he could probably understand what I was going through more than anyone else. Except, maybe, Cassie. But I wasn't going to spill my guts to a girl I hardly knew over my own brother.

Jake was great, though. He hugged me, told me that I was doing well, and that he was sure it would get easier. That we'd talk without Aftran as much as I needed. Knowing that he was there and understood helped. A lot.

I wasn't on my own anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Yeah, another long chapter, but hopefully, still enjoyable.
> 
> Please take a few minutes to leave a review!


	5. Chapter 5

Aftran sort of tapped at the glass when she was ready for me to let her back in my head. Even though we hadn't established a signal, two hours had passed, and it seemed like that's what it meant. So, I scooped her up out of the water and, shuddering a little, held her to my ear.

Jake held my hand as she began to connect to my brain. Maybe it was because I'd gotten such awful Yeerks in the past, but I didn't think I was even going to associate infestation with anything except horror. No matter who the Yeerk was.

At least I wouldn't be acting when I went to the Yeerk Pool. Anyone watching would see that I wasn't eager for Aftran to return to my head.

That night, I had a familiar nightmare. Gariss was back, and my house was being invaded by Controllers. All of my family was being taken to the Yeerk Pool. They were all screaming in confusion, and I could do nothing but watch as they became Controllers.

I expected to be able to scream when I woke up in the middle of the night from this dream, but to my horror, my body wouldn't work.

She's like the others, I realized with horror.

Then, It's only a matter of time before she infests my family.

Or, had the whole couple of days been a dream, and I had woken up under the enslavement of Gariss? Again?

I tried to fight, to move any part of my body, but it was futile.

Then, suddenly, I could hear her voice. Gentle. Reassuring.

(Tom. Tom! It's me. Aftran. You were having a bad dream,) she told me.

(I know that!) I snapped. (WHY WON'T YOU LET ME MOVE?!)

I felt Aftran's alarm, her fear. She immediately withdrew control, and I felt myself struggling to breathe. Once I had that under control, she spoke again. Gently.

(Tom, I was afraid that if I didn't take control, you would start screaming. That you might something to reveal yourself. And us,) she explained, in a quiet voice. Almost like she was ashamed. (So...I was afraid. I thought I'd take control just long enough for you to remember where you were. That you were having a nightmare,) she explained. (I'm sorry, Tom.)

Now, embarrassment came over me. And a little shame. (I'm-it's just...)

Even in my mind, the words wouldn't form.

But one advantage of having a Yeerk in your brain was that they understood everything you said and didn't say. Temrash had once told me that he knew me better than I knew myself.

He hadn't said this to reassure me.

With Aftran...it was comforting that she could know me-could understand me-that well.

(Tom, I understand,) Aftran told me, her tone still soft and reassuring. She paused, just for a moment, before adding, (Cassie would get nightmares, as well.)

(Did you have to do that to her?) I asked. (Take control so she couldn't give you away?)

I felt her pause again.

(Just once,) Aftran told me. (Because I knew she was going to cry out. The other time, she remembered that I was there...and she didn't.)

(What about your other hosts?)

I didn't know a whole lot about Aftran. Only that she and Cassie became friends and Cassie convinced her to join the Peace Movement and let her own host-apparently, a young girl-go free. I didn't know how many hosts she'd had before that kid, or how many were human.

(Just Karen. The girl I had before Cassie,) Aftran explained. (Before me, her bad dreams mostly consisted of imaginary monsters. After I'd been in her head for a few months, I became a part of her dreams.)

(Like Gariss and Temrash,) I commented, grimly.

(Yes...but your dreams about them continue because of how much they hurt you.)

I rolled my eyes. (Like you didn't hurt Karen.)

Probably not the best thing to say to a member of the same species that had made my life a living hell for the past two years. But, what the heck. If Aftran was going to be living in my head indefinitely, we might as well get everything out in the open. Besides, it suddenly felt very important for me to know if she had been a torturer, or just...uncaring.

(No, I certainly hurt Karen,) Aftran agreed. (Not by the methods your former Yeerks used. Those aren't exactly recommended in the empire except as a last resort. Even if your host can't become voluntary, breaking them is hardly encouraged. There's a line between placating them and sympathy, which could result in a charge of treason-)

(Okay,) I interrupted. (I get it. You didn't torture her the way Temrash and Gariss tortured me. But I bet you still caused a lot of damage.)

(Yes,) she admitted, quietly.

(And even though you freed her, it's not like she has anyone to talk to. She just has to live with it for the rest of her life. How old is Karen, anyway? Five?)

(Seven. Eight, by now.)

Seven. Seven years old and a slave to the Yeerks. It didn't surprise me. I'd seen hosts as young as-well, probably five. I didn't know what the cutoff age was for hosts. Well, for human hosts.

It would be easy to hate Aftran, simply because she was a Yeerk and even more, because she'd willingly enslaved a human child. Not that enslaving a teenager or an adult would have been much better, but a kid? That felt like a whole new level of evil.

I reminded myself that Aftran had probably infested Karen because she'd felt that she didn't have a choice. Realistically, Karen would have gone to another Yeerk. Aftran had risked a lot by freeing Karen, and as far as I knew, she was still free. That was something, at least. Besides, Aftran was my only choice if I wanted to have a fairly normal life. And Jake and the others seemed to trust her.

Cassie certainly did.

I changed the subject, because Aftran could hear my thoughts, even those I didn't direct at her. She knew everything I was thinking. That I was choosing-for now-to put my freedom and my sanity in her hands.

Metaphorically, of course.

(Are you going to need to take control whenever I have a bad dream?) I asked her.

She hesitated. (If I think the danger is very real that you'll do something-unwittingly-that will harm yourself and me.)

(Couldn't you just take control of my voice or something? I really don't want to wake up unable to move at all.)

(Yes,) Aftran said, simply. (All right. I promise that I'll do that from now on.)

I stretched and repositioned myself on the bed. The nightmares wouldn't go away anytime soon. Aftran was right. There was a real risk that, left to my own devices, I might start screaming about Yeerks then and there. And even if my parents weren't Controllers now, they could be taken, and then our safety would be at risk.

Not to mention Jake. I didn't want to wake him up or cause him any extra worry, just because I didn't want Aftran to hold onto any part of my body until I was able to think clearly.

(Okay,) I told her. (If you can see I'm having a nightmare, and that I'm about to scream bloody murder as soon as I wake up, you can prevent me from doing so. But you have to start talking to me right away. Calm me down before I have a heart attack from panic. Okay?)

She gave me a mental nod. (I promise.)

I lay down again, trying to get comfortable. But sleep wouldn't come. I practically growled in frustration.

I felt Aftran tugging at the edge of my mind, like she wanted to say something but wasn't sure if she should.

(What is it?) I asked her. Not very kindly...but if she was going to be living in my head, she'd have to get used to that part of me.

(Can I help? I could tell you a story, or replay some pleasant memories, or just talk to you,) she offered.

(No for the memories,) I told her. (What kind of story?)

I imagined it would be about her hosts, which aside from Cassie would be depressing, or maybe how she came to join the Peace Movement.

(Yeerk myths from the home planet,) she explained.

Not my cup of tea, so to speak.

(Maybe...if you could just talk to me...) I suggested.

She did. I don't remember exactly what she said, but her voice was soft and reassuring, and within minutes, I was fast asleep.

School was the next day. I woke up on my own and got ready without any need for her interference. But as soon as I saw my parents, I was afraid that I was going to break down, so Aftran had to take control of my body.

It was the same way in school. She didn't seize control, not the way a Yeerk would after a host managed to rebel successfully for a few minutes. It was always gentle, the way she took control. And, to her credit, she left me with as much control as she could without drawing any attention. Stuff like my legs, my shoulders. My fingers. Body parts that wouldn't attract attention unless I seriously freaked out.

She usually held onto my face and my voice. Those were the main indicators, after all.

But Aftran was unusually kind. "Unusually" because the kindest thing I could have said about Temrash or Gariss is that they didn't deprive me of sleep or torture me ALL the time. But I imagined that few hosts experienced 24/7 torture because their Yeerk still had to focus part of their brain on playing their part and serving the empire.

Anyway, Aftran spoke to me whenever she could. Calmly. Gently. And that helped. Because, honestly, at this point, not being able to control my body was the new normal for me, and having a sympathetic slug in my head made it a lot more bearable. I hoped that as I got used to things, I would get better, and I'd end up in control of my body in public most of the time. At least, during the times when we weren't at Sharing meetings or right before/after she was about to feed.

I was nervous about feeding that afternoon. Even though she was posing as Gariss, there was so much that could go wrong. But she had to feed at the Yeerk Pool, because they would notice if she was missing. So, as soon as my last class ended, she took the car we shared with my mom, and headed to the mall.

(It's the first time I've been here since I freed Karen,) Aftran told me.

(You're scared.)

(Well, yes.)

I gave a mental sigh. (Just don't do anything to get us caught, okay? No pressure, but not only is my relative freedom riding on this, but so is Midget's and all of his friends. Probably, their lives as well.)

I didn't know exactly what Visser Three was planning on doing if he caught the so-called Andalite Bandits. He might infest them, but he was also proud enough of being the sole Yeerk with an Andalite body. On the other hand, if he learned that the "Andalite Bandits" were actually five human kids (well, four kids and one hawk...) and only one Andalite, he might just kill Ax and infest the others.

Then again, he might kill them all.

I knew that they'd prefer death over infestation. The Yeerks Visser Three would assign them would not be from the Peace Movement. Far from it. They'd be just like Gariss or Temrash.

If I could protect Jake and his friends from infestation, I'd do just about anything. They had no idea what kind of hell it was like. In fact, if someone told me that hell was actually not fire and brimstone, but eternity with a cruel Yeerk, I'd say that the latter was far worse.

(I promise to do whatever I can to protect you and your friends, Tom,) Aftran told me, softly.

She managed to pull off acting like Gariss on the way to the pool and into the first line. Not that she acted like him to me, but she held my body the same way he would have, and even though I couldn't see my face, I imagined it had the same expression on it that he would have had. Disdain, some hunger, and amusement at seeing the involuntary hosts. He didn't linger over the sight of the cages, but he would watch the struggling involuntary hosts get reinvested, and laugh inwardly at their pain.

(Soon, that will be you, human,) he would often remind me.

Aftran, of course, had to use the same looks and gestures that he would have used, but her thoughts to me were nothing but kind.

When it was our turn, she relaxed my face into an impassive stare. It was better than the previous smirk she'd been wearing.

(I'll see you in a little while, Tom,) she told me. (Don't worry.)

And then she was gone.

I was long past the point of screaming or fighting when they dragged me to my cage, but I also never made their job easy for them. If they wanted to lock me up, they'd have to haul me to my cage. Of course, I didn't change the way I acted just because Aftran was now in my head.

Once in my cage, I just covered my head with my hands. It was easier than having to cry on demand. Besides, at this point, I only cried about half of the time. At a certain point...it just didn't matter anymore. I wasn't as far gone as the people who would simply stare off into space, not registering anything, but had I been with Gariss or another Yeerk like him for a couple more years, that probably would have been my fate.

The guards filled the cages as space was available. Maybe five adult humans could fit "comfortably" in a cage. Hork-Bajir were separated into cages that were stronger, because of their blades. I didn't think that the Yeerks put the same people together all the time, but depending on when your Yeerk fed and where they were in line, you usually saw the same people at the Yeerk Pool. You might end up being near the same people about half the time, even if you didn't share a cage. So, it was important for me to look the same as I usually did, in order to avoid drawing attention to myself.

I was glad when Aftran was ready to reinfest me. I was a little worried that it wouldn't end up being her...but with Gariss inside of the Chee, it would have to either be Aftran or another Yeerk posing as Gariss. Since she was the only Yeerk who knew what had happened to him, it didn't seem likely. Unless she told the Peace Movement and they betrayed us...

But it was Aftran who came back into my head.

(It's me. Aftran,) she told me as soon as she connected with my brain.

I would have breathed a sigh of relief had I been able. (Good. Because if it hadn't been you, we would have been toast.)

She raised my body so I was standing, and walked away from the Yeerk Pool.

(I did you you had no reason to worry,) she chided me, gently.

I mentally rolled my eyes at her. (Right, because it's not like we don't have anything at stake.)

(Tom, we're safe,) she promised. (As long as we stick to the script, as you humans say, we have nothing to worry about.)

(Just don't...) I paused as I tried to figure out the right words. (You know. Assume that nothing can go wrong.)

(I won't. Remember that my life is on the line, too.)

That, ironically, was reassuring. I knew that I had to trust Aftran, at least as long as she was in my head. I mean, what other choice did I have? We would just have to be cautious without being paranoid.

Well, overly paranoid.

I wanted to check in with Jake again later that night, just to reassure him that the feeding went well. Aftran didn't protest, simply agreed to leave my head so Jake and I could hang out for a couple of hours together.

"Everything went fine," I told him, after Aftran was safe in a glass of water on my desk. "We pulled it off-this time. I figure it will only get easier with practice."

Jake nodded as he sat down on the edge of my bed. "She treating you okay?" he asked me.

I managed a smile. "Yeah. I mean, we're not best friends, but I can stand her being there. Not that I want to make this arrangement permanent after you guys win the war, but she's a lot better than Gariss and Temrash."

I noticed Jake flinch a little at the word "Temrash", but I couldn't think of why that could be. Maybe, he was just reacting to my having been a Controller for so long.

Jake nodded. "I don't know about our odds at winning. We're just trying to hold off as much of the invasion as we can until the Andalites arrive."

I laughed, a little grimly. "I'd say you're doing better than that."

"Really?"

"Oh, yeah. The involuntary hosts always hold out some hope at being rescued when the Andalites come, but seeing the Andalite Bandits wreck up Visser Three's plans show them that there's reason to hope right now. Even if they're still slaves, they think there's a good possibility that they'll live to see freedom."

"What about you?" Jake asked me. "When you were with your old Yeerk?"

I looked away from Jake, not wanting to admit how messed up I had become. Not that he couldn't see that I was hardly myself when he first freed me.

"My Yeerks were bad, Midget. Temrash was an outright jerk, but even he told me from the beginning that he wouldn't hurt me if I didn't fight. Of course, I wasn't about to just surrender, and he made me pay whenever I tried to rebel. Not that I ever got control-well, except for once, but it was like half a second."

"I remember that," Jake told me. "The Sharing barbecue. The one I was at with Marco and the others."

I managed not to wince at the memory. What Temrash put me through after that...let's just say that I still had nightmares about it. Probably didn't help that a couple days later, the Andalite Bandits/Animorphs invaded the Yeerk Pool and I went head to head with Visser Three.

Yeah, Temrash wasn't thrilled about that either, and I suffered for it.

But now that I knew that it had worked-had made Jake think twice before considering joining The Sharing, even as an auxiliary member-I felt like it had all been worth it.

"Really? But-but how did you even know, at that point? About The Sharing, and everything?"

"We didn't know about The Sharing. Elfangor didn't tell us about that part. I don't know if he even knew about it. But we knew about Yeerks, and I guess I figured that..." He shrugged. "Your face just suddenly changed, Tom. Like, it was totally normal, and then it was like there was another person inside. I could feel like you were trying to say something, too. And then it went back to normal. Well, normal for a Yeerk playing a human. I just knew you were trying to give me a warning."

"I was," I told him, simply.

I didn't want to tell him how much I had suffered because of it. There was no need to burden him with that information. What mattered was that it had worked. I had protected my younger brother from infestation.

Oh, I knew I couldn't take all the credit. He'd put the pieces together, and if he and his friends hadn't been fighting all this time, there was a very real chance that he would be infested, just like me. Still. I'd fought so hard to give him a clue, and he'd gotten it.

I nearly grinned as I thought how furious Temrash would have been had he known.

Jake put a hand on mine, and we sat there for a few minutes. Finally, he said, "Want to try beating me at some video games?"

I snorted. "Try? Midget, I could beat you one handed."

Maybe I was out of practice, or maybe it was still the damage caused by my Yeerks. I lost the first game. Not horribly, but still. Barely beat him the second game. I wasn't sure if he let me win, though.

"Best out of three?" I asked him.

"Sure," he agreed.

"Don't let me win, though," I told Jake. "I know I'm out of practice."

He won by a lot that time.

I could have gotten depressed. Could have raged, at least in my head, at what Temrash and Gariss had done to me. But at least I was free. At least I could play video games. And, I hoped, I'd get better over time.

I hoped I'd get better completely.

When Aftran came back into my head and saw the memories-with my permission-she was more optimistic than I was.

(It's only your third day, Tom. You might not be the same as you were before the Yeerks, but you're getting better. Really, you're doing a lot better than I would have expected.)

(How do you know?) I asked her. (Karen was involuntary, and you freed her.)

(Yes, but I've heard a lot from the Pool during the months I was there,) she reminded me. (Many of the Yeerks in the Peace Movement are forced to take involuntary hosts, and they often need rehabilitation. I'd tell you that you couldn't imagine what some of the Yeerks do to their hosts...)

(...But I've experienced it,) I finished.

(Yes.) She paused for a minute before adding, (We help each other. There's no manual, no official one. Training tells us how to dominate humans, not how to help them. It's not that the empire explicitly tells us to break our hosts until they're simply bodies, but they certainly want them to be submissive. Or at least, not problematic.) She shuddered a little, even though, from what she'd told me before, her hosts before Karen had been passed onto her by other Yeerks. Yeerks who had done the dirty work for her. (So, we have to improvise when it comes to undoing the damage. A lot of it is simply the reverse of what's been done to them, but it's far easier to break a host than to rehabilitate one. Especially humans.)

(It's probably all theoretical to you. Until you got me, anyway.)

(Yes. I gave Cassie my word that I wouldn't take another host. I would have kept it. I would have died for the Peace Movement. Maybe not in the beginning,) she admitted. (I spent a couple of months doing what you humans would call "sulking". I joined immediately, as soon as I freed Karen and made sure she was safe. But my heart wasn't in it at first.)

(What changed your mind?)

Aftran didn't hesitate. (Hearing about the suffering we cause. Wanting to do something to fix it. To eliminate the taking of involuntary hosts, and the use of torture. Which are connected, because voluntary hosts want their Yeerks there, and there's no need for "host discipline", as my brother Yeerks call it. If we end involuntary infestation and end the empire, things can go back to how they were before the empire began. I was born in a Pool away from the home world, but we have many Yeerks in the Movement who remember how things used to be. We only had Gedds back then, and most were infested by Yeerks, but it was far more...symbiotic.)

(There are more than enough humans for every decent Yeerk to get one without coercion, especially if you kept your word about fair treatment.)

(Yes. We just have to dismantle the empire and change the way the majority of Yeerks think about hosts and infestation,) Aftran replied, dryly. (But we're making progress. It's just slower than we all would like.)

I thought that went without saying for myself and the rest of my fellow involuntary hosts.

But I supposed that I wasn't exactly involuntary anymore. I was cooperating, at least with Aftran.

Like I said. I didn't really mind her being there, and she was our best chance of success. And my best chance at living a normal life.

And of getting better. Becoming myself again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you've read this far, please consider taking a moment to leave kudos or a comment. Thanks!


	6. Chapter 6

It took longer for me to make it permanent-or semi permanent-than I had anticipated. I had thought that I would know for sure in a month. Whether I could live with Aftran in my head indefinitely, or whether I needed to be free of all Yeerks in my head, even if it meant saying a possibly permanent "goodbye" to my parents and a tentative one to Jake. Because, really, at any point, any one of them could be killed in battle.

Fortunately, battles seemed to be rare during the period immediately following my teaming up with Aftran. Maybe Visser Three was getting chewed out by the Council because of the complete failure of his formula to eliminate free will, combined with the escape of a Yeerk traitor. Then again, maybe they had no way of knowing, and he was just stewing before making his next move.

Whatever the reason, I was grateful for the slight reprieve. It gave me time to adjust to my new life.

Him, too. Jake was so much happier now. So much more-himself. Even my parents noticed the change. For one thing, his grades had been falling-a little-ever since the war began were now creeping back up. Not that he was getting straight A's, but he wouldn't have any trouble passing his classes.

Aftran and I claimed a small amount of credit for that. Besides just the whole "not living with your brother as an enemy" thing, we could help him with his schoolwork.

Like Aftran did for me.

So, it should have been an easy decision to make, but I kept wavering. The tentative one month deadline came and went. I was glad that Midget didn't say anything when it passed without my saying anything.

Neither did Aftran. Well, she didn't say anything negative. Living in my head, hearing all of my thoughts, she knew that I needed more time to decide. She wasn't offended.

I woke up six weeks after my initial infestation with Aftran with this feeling that letting her stay in my head indefinitely was the right choice.

(You've decided,) Aftran told me. It wasn't really a question.

(Yeah. You can stay. Well, until the end of the war,) I answered, simply. Then, (Let's tell Jake.)

As it was a Saturday morning, Jake was able to call everyone that morning to hold a meeting, but he called Cassie last. I guessed that he was nervous about making that call, because it was no surprise that my decision to be Aftran's host indefinitely would mean that her hope of being Aftran's host was gone.

I mean, she must have known that Jake wouldn't have wanted one of their own to suddenly become a Controller, but still. They were close, and it had to hurt.

At the same time, an idea was forming in my head. Something that, I felt, all four of us could live with.

"Can you come over in an hour?" I heard him say.

She must have said yes, because he gave me the thumbs up when he hung up the phone.

"You don't need to be as careful around the phone as you are," I told him, gently. "If they were tracking us, I figure my Yeerks would have known."

Jake shrugged. "Can't be too careful. Anyway, we've been doing it this way for two years. It would take awhile to break the habit."

I ruffled his hair. "Yeah, all right," I conceded.

We hung around the kitchen as we waited for everyone to show up. Made small talk. I could feel myself growing nervous. Silly as it was, the idea of saying out loud that I was choosing to stay with Aftran until the end of the war was making me nervous. It felt so permanent.

Not that I'd want her to leave. Over the past several weeks, we'd become friends. Good friends. Heck, if I had gotten her (or what she was now) when I was first infested, I might have outright become voluntary.

There was just no doubt that she'd helped me. Was continuing to help me. It was like Aftran's presence in my mind was an anchor. A friend, a real friend who knew everything about me, my strengths, my weaknesses, everything I had ever done-and still managed to like me. You didn't have that kind of relationship with anyone else, no matter how honest the two were. There was just no alternative to the mental link we shared.

The doorbell rang, and everyone started arriving. More small talk ensued, along with some careful looks at me.

(They're still new to this,) Aftran commented, and I could detect some bitterness, however much she tried to hide it from me. (They're used to seeing the Yeerks as evil.)

(It's easier to fight the war that way,) I pointed out. (And it's not like you can take down the empire without taking some civilians along the way.)

(No, I guess you can't,) she agreed.

The doorbell rang for the last time.

"That'd be Cassie," I said.

"I'll get her," Jake volunteered. A moment later, I heard him saying, "Come on in. Everyone else is here.

I smiled at Cassie as she joined us, who gave me a quick look before smiling back.

(Okay, Aftran. See you in a few minutes,) I told her.

(See you soon,) she told me before disconnecting.

I felt a brief twinge as she left my ear. I picked her up, careful as always, and then gently placed her in the glass of water. I glanced at the glass of water for a second, saw Aftran begin to swim around in the water, before glancing over at my brother.

"Without further ado, I'll give the floor over to Tom," Jake said, nodding towards me.

I grinned. "Gonna keep it short and sweet. I'm letting Aftran stay in me. At least, until you and the Peace Movement can kick the empire's butt. And if anyone can do it, I know that Midget can." He gave Jake a light punch on the arm. "I needed more time to decide than I thought, but I guess that's because of the whole magnitude of the thing. You know? Well, I mean, none of you have been Controllers, except Cassie..."

There seemed to be a slight shift in the room, but maybe that was because the other Animorphs weren't exactly thrilled with the idea of one of their own willingly hosting a Yeerk.

I cleared my throat a little before continuing. "So, anyway. As you know, we made up a bunch of rules before, like Aftran wouldn't go digging through my thoughts without a good reason or without my permission, I'd get control whenever possible, and she'd leave me every three days so I could talk to Jake on my own. And we've been doing that."

"Sometimes, it's daily," Jake said, smiling.

"Yeah," I replied, unabashedly, "and it's been great to reconnect with Midget again, after the past couple of years." I put an arm around Jake's shoulder. "They haven't been easy for either of us. For any of you, either."

The rest of them all nodded, then voicing their acquiescence.

"You've had it the worst, though," Rachel told me, firmly. "And Jake tried to save you as soon as we knew. But after that..."

I managed a nod, even as I felt my throat begin to close. I took a deep breath. "Too risky. I get it. And I know that if it wasn't for Aftran, it wouldn't be possible now."

"It was the reason I fought," Jake told me, quietly. "And every day that you were a slave to that slug...it felt like I had failed you."

To hell with what his friends might think. I stood up from the table and gave Jake a fierce hug. To his credit, he didn't seem to mind. At least, he squeezed back, instead of wriggling away and claiming I was embarrassing him.

"Never," I told him, my arms still wrapped around him tightly. "Don't say that. Try not to even think it, okay?"

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Jake nod, and then he squeezed back, hard.

After a few minutes, I broke the hug, and we all sat back down.

"So, anyway, Aftran's staying in my head. At least until you guys win. After that..." I shrugged.

Truth be told, I wasn't sure how I felt about being a Controller for the rest of my life. My first two years of it had been hell on earth, but the last six weeks had been a lot easier. Still, I had the suspicion that Aftran would probably want to be back with Cassie after the war ended, and I didn't know if I was brave enough to risk taking on another Yeerk.

"Let's take things one battle at a time," Marco said, voicing more or less what I was thinking. He gave me a gentle punch on the arm. "Focus on that for now."

I smiled back at him, and then removed Aftran from the glass of water and placed her next to my ear. A few minutes later, I was still in control as she finished making the connections to my brain.

"Oh, definitely," Rachel was saying. "In the meantime...I think we should make this alliance official."

"With cinnamon buns?" Ax asked, hopefully. "Bunzzz?"

Jake snickered. "Sure, as long as you save some of them for us, this time."

"Seeing as this is a celebration," Cassie began, "we should really have some kind of a feast. Which means lots of different food." She gave Ax a side eye. "And lots of cinnamon buns."

"Lots and lots of buns!" He affirmed, even clapping his hands. "Buns-zah!"

I grinned. "Sounds good. My treat, okay?" Jake looked like he might object, so I prematurely held up his hands. "Hey, you guys freed me. And besides, it's not like I've had much chance over the last two years to decide how to spend my money."

"Well, if you insist..."

"I do," I replied, firmly. "Just give me a minute to get my wallet."

I went upstairs to retrieve my wallet.

(Welcome back,) I told Aftran.

(Hello, again,) she told me, sending me a mental smile. (May I check your recent memories?)

She must have known that I would say yes, being in my head and all. Still, I appreciated that she checked with me.

(Sure, go ahead.)

We emerged a few minutes later, and headed to the front door.

(Now's your chance, Tom) Aftran urged me.

(Right.)

I gently pulled Cassie aside. She looked startled, but her face quickly changed to simply confused.

"Hey, Cassie?" I said, speaking quietly as we walked a little apart from the others.

She stopped walking for a minute, and I wondered if something in my expression had scared her.

"Yeah?" she asked, a little tentatively.

"Aftran says to tell you..."

(That I miss her,) Aftran relayed to me. (And to thank her, of course. For everything she's done for me.)

"That she misses you. And thank you, of course. For everything."

Aftran snickered in my head. (You didn't have to say it word for word, Tom!) she chided.

(Hey, unlike you, I can't read minds,) I teased.

Aftran sent me an image of a Yeerk sticking out an imaginary tongue at me.

(Real mature,) I grinned.

I turned my focus back to the conversation. Well, the one occurring outside my head.

Cassie was smiling at me. A little sadly. "I miss her, too. And you're welcome. And thank her for me."

(Okay, you heard that, so I'm not going to repeat it,) I told Aftran, sending her a mental grin.

(Indeed,) she replied.

I nodded at Cassie. Could understand now what it was like to have a Yeerk you liked. To miss that Yeerk when they were gone.

"You know, I've been thinking," I began.

"Yeah?" Cassie asked.

"If you want to talk to her again, and I got the sense from her that she thinks you might...Jake can give you a call on some of the days that we get some time together. She wouldn't have to stay in the class of water for those couple of hours," I told her.

She gaped at me. "Really? You're serious?"

"Sure. I already spoke to Jake about it. He is cool with it." I waited a minute. "So...What do you think?"

She beamed at me. "That would be great. Thank you!"

(Now, you're sure you won't choose her over me?) I asked Aftran, and I realized I was only half joking. I knew how close they were. If the war hadn't been a factor, Aftran would choose Cassie over me.

But Aftran gave me a mental hug in response. (You both will always be my hosts,) she said, simply, (And I will fight to protect both of you. That means not leaving your head, permanently, until you're ready. Even after we win the war.)

(Aww. Thanks,) I told her.

The end

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's note: Yeah, it's been awhile since my last update. Between "Willing Host" and realizing that FFN deleted the latest version, the final chapter got sort of lost in the loop. But, here it is, and I hope you'll take a few minutes to review! 
> 
> Also, at some point, I plan to add more works in this "universe" to make it a series, so keep an eye out for those!

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: If you've read this far, please take a few minutes to leave your feedback. I can't tell you how much I appreciate hearing from readers!


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